Pastor Bolaji Idowu of Harvesters Church has advised singles to address selfish tendencies before entering romantic relationships, warning that a person’s attitude towards others can reveal their true character.
The cleric gave the advice while preaching a sermon titled “Fixing and Restoring a Broken Relationship and Marriage,” where he stressed the importance of thoughtfulness and consideration in building healthy relationships.
“Leave dating alone, go and fix your selfishness first,” Idowu said, cautioning people against partners who constantly prioritise their personal desires without considering the needs of others.
Citing Proverbs 23:6, the pastor illustrated his message with an example of a woman who insists that her partner buy her an iPhone 18 for her birthday despite his explanation that he cannot afford it.
According to him, the woman responds by saying, “If you cannot get it, forget it. Don’t get me anything.”
Reacting to the scenario, Idowu warned that such behaviour could indicate a lack of understanding and consideration in a relationship.
“You will know you did not find a wife. You found a knife,” he said.
The pastor also discussed a situation where a man buys an expensive phone for himself but fails to consider whether his partner needs an upgrade, describing such behaviour as a possible sign of selfishness.
“Love doesn’t need to be asked. Love takes initiative,” he stated, explaining that genuine affection involves voluntarily considering a partner’s needs rather than waiting to be prompted.
Idowu further urged people to pay attention to how their potential partners treat others, noting that someone may appear caring in a romantic relationship while displaying selfish behaviour in other situations.
He emphasised that understanding a person’s character, willingness to make sacrifices and consideration for others are important when choosing a life partner.
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