WHY INFLUENTIAL AND SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DON\’T GIVE YOU ATTENTION.
These are the reasons why high net worth individuals close off their access to you.
My engagement on social media and my composure in person when I’m with people have earned me quite a number of valuable relationships with some HNWIs.
Towards the end of last year, a piece of my writing earned me a relationship with an influential person. In fact, my phone rang that evening around 7 pm, and I couldn’t believe the person on the phone wanted to see me because he read my writing and wanted to meet the person behind it.
That was how a good relationship was formed last year. I was given his private number and how to reach him anytime I needed to speak to him. I got all of this but never called or messaged except for New Year greeting. A few weeks before the New Year, this very respectable man messaged me, asking why I hadn’t called him since our meeting. I told him that I didn’t have any cogent reason to call, and considering his status and busy schedule as a prominent stakeholder, I found it counterproductive to call just to greet him. I ended the conversation with, “An access to you is a privilege, and I wouldn’t like to abuse it.” Right there, he called and said, “I am giving you the permission to call me any day, anytime you want to talk to me, and you don’t have to wait until you have something important to discuss before you do.” I answered, “Yes, sir.”
This is something I learned personally; nobody taught me this social and relationship etiquette. There are a number of businessmen and women and some top individuals in my contacts that I haven’t once contacted because I do not see a way to add value to them yet. Many times I see people wish for connections, often struggling so hard to get the contact of an influential person. They pray for valuable relationships but do not have the capacity to build and sustain these relationships. Many aren’t even aware of their lack of morals, composure, and intellect to sustain such relationships. When they lose access, they accuse these folks of being proud and not wanting to help them.
Many people gain access and become a burden in the lives of these individuals. They gain access and become overzealous religionists who forward every single post and devotion on WhatsApp. They disturb them with unnecessary calls and all sorts of interruptions.
You abuse access when you continuously ask for money, loans, or financial investment without offering anything in return. You need to know that this creates a sense of exploitation and, over time, erodes trust and damages the relationship.
You abuse access when you start to use an influential person as a primary emotional support, constantly sharing personal problems and expecting them to solve them for you.
You abuse access when you begin to leech on their social circle, frequently asking for invitations to exclusive events or introductions to influential people. They’ll start to perceive you as a social climber and see the relationship as transactional, with their value based solely on their connections.
You abuse access when you continuously request favors, such as job or contract recommendations, business referrals, or personal services.
You abuse access when you give excessive manipulative flattery or fake admiration to gain favor or financial benefits. While this might work temporarily, it often becomes transparent, leading to distrust.
You abuse access when you start to invade their privacy, asking intrusive questions or trying to gain access to private information. Even if they discuss something in your presence and it’s vague to you, if they didn’t talk about it with you, you are not in the place to ask them to clarify.
You abuse access when you frequently use their resources without reciprocation or always wanting things from them for free.
You abuse access when you constantly pitch business ideas or investment opportunities, especially when they are poorly thought out or solely benefit you.
You abuse access when you charge them ten times what you would normally charge others for your product or service.
All of the above and more are things you do that strain the relationships that God has blessed you with. Do not be one of those who only think of now and what they can quickly grab at the moment. Do not be one of those who want everything from these people with nothing to offer back. Do not be one of those who come into relationships with plenty of strategies on how to exploit and use people as a poverty alleviation program.
Finally, much more than what you think of right now will be handed over to you if only you can be patient and value-oriented. People are God’s methods and tools for lifting, and men are God\’s method of opening doors. But if you use your foolishness and lack of sense to destroy the relationships you have, blame yourself if they lock all access to you.
Tadé Makinwa
